Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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