we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
this will be a night to untag.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
