this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
