booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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