that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
