when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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