I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
