He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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