he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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