You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
