I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
