I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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