Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize