found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
