Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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