Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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