Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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