DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
