you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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