You can't special order awesome
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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