what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
