apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
