party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
