Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
