Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
