They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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