You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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