Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Randomize
