Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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