Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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