Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
