i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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