If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
