Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize