Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
