is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
