threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
