The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
there is glitter all over my balls
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
