I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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