cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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