well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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