I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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