i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
