i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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