Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
