I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
