you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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