i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
