I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
