dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
