Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
