you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
