I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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