I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Soap is not a condiment
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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