I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
honey bunches of taint.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
