I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Drunk is not a location!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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