My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
