The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
