I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
