great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
