How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
