I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
