Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
