look no pants
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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