It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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