The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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